By Cherrie Garcia
Here We Are…
Move over, Shakespeare—there’s a new existential crisis on the rise:
To swing, or not to swing? That is, shall you (and your intrepid partner) dip your toes—or dive headfirst—into non-monogamy, or stick to monogamy and people-watch from the safety of your metaphorical porch?
It’s a juicy, exciting, and sometimes slightly terrifying question. Lucky for you, I’m here to break it all down—with a dash of humor, a sprinkle of honesty, and a real-life tale of “how not to communicate before jumping in.” (You’ll want to read this one.)
Swinging: Not the Dance, But You May Lose Your Balance
Let’s clear things up right off the bat: we’re not talking about the Charleston, Lindy Hop, or Grandpa’s questionable wedding moves. In this context, swinging means non-monogamy—couples (or solo adventurers) exploring connections with others, openly and consensually.
Key word: consent.
This is about honest conversations, defined boundaries, and respect.
Five Signs You Might Be Swing-Curious
- You own more than three types of lube and can explain the difference.
- You and your partner can talk about fantasies without anyone needing a sedative.
- You watched “Eyes Wide Shut” and thought, “What if people turned on more lights and served better snacks?”
- You love your partner, but admit you still get harmless crushes (we see you).
- You’ve Googled “unicorn dating,” and didn’t end up at a fantasy convention.
A Swinging Cautionary Tale: Why Communication Is Everything
Now, let me serve up a story—fresh from my own awkward archives:
I once knew a couple actively in the swinging scene. The husband was openly bisexual, and his wife was cool with it. But—plot twist—he somehow “forgot” to share that he wanted to swing with another couple where the other husband was also bi. So, there we are, sitting at dinner; the drinks are flowing, the conversation is sparkling… until suddenly, it’s not. Shoulders tense. Glances exchanged. Someone nearly chokes on the breadstick.
Long story short: that dinner turned into a masterclass in awkward silences, and, as you can imagine, they skipped dessert.
Afterwards? A marathon talk between my husband and i, some clarifications, and an agreement: next time, everyone’s preferences hit the table before the appetizers.
Moral of the story: Communication is not just sexy—it’s survival. Be as open as possible because hurt feelings can lead to mistrust and in this lifestyle, TRUST is everything.
So… Should You Swing?
Maybe you crave watching, or maybe you just love just being around like minded individuals.. Whatever your reasons, swinging can be thrilling, intimate, and even bring you closer together. But it only works when:
- You communicate (yes, even the cringey bits)
- Boundaries are clear—what’s on, off, or “maybe after margaritas”
- You’re honest—with your partner, and yourself
- Everyone’s choices are respected
And remember: not everyone is meant to swing, and that’s totally fine! The beauty of ethical non-monogamy is you write your own script.
In Conclusion
To swing, or not to swing? That answer lives in your conversations, your boundaries, and maybe, just maybe, your RSVP for next Saturday.
And if you remember nothing else, remember this: Great communication is hotter than anything that happens behind closed doors.
Want more inside scoops? Subscribe for more juicy tales and smart advice—cherries optional, giggles guaranteed. Love ya for reading. Happy Swinging!
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