How Intimacy Slipped Away in the Digital Age
Let me take you back for a second—back to the days when dating was a real-life adventure, not just a swipe on a screen. I was born in 1981, so believe me when I say I’m almost clocking in at half a century (gasp!), and I’ve seen firsthand just how much the dating game has changed.
When I was 16, finding romance meant lacing up your roller skates or sneaking away from your parents at the mall. It was hanging out with your besties in the food court, giggling and eyeing that pack of cute guys across the way. It was the eye contact, that electric moment of possibility, and the sheer terror of waiting to see if one of them, courage swelling, would break away from his crew and come talk to you.
And when he did? Oh, honey. You felt it all—a jolt of exhilaration, nerves on fire, the kind of thrill that makes your stomach flip inside out. And then the waiting. Would he call? You clung to the phone, every ring shooting panic and hope straight through your chest. When it was finally his voice on the other end, you’d talk for hours—about your favorite songs, the latest movie you both just had to see, juicy secrets from school. Every conversation was a discovery. Every connection felt rare.
Back then, the world felt cozy and close. Intimacy had room to breathe; connection had time to root deep.
These days? Whew. I look at the world my kids are navigating and my heart aches a little. Are young people today really connecting in this whirlwind of online dating and social media likes? Dating now feels like a never-ending rush—a fast-food romance, where everything is swipe-right, instant DM, onto the next.
Don’t get me wrong, I know convenience has its perks, and yes, some beautiful stories do blossom from pixels. But with all these fast connections, I can’t help but wonder: Are we craving intimacy so badly because it feels almost extinct in the digital wild? Back then, meeting new people meant digging deep for courage. The stakes were real, the vulnerability even realer.
Now, the gamble is lower and the risk is hidden behind a screen. No terrifying walk across the food court. No breathless waiting beside a landline. No accidental run-in that turns into a three-hour conversation on the curb as the streetlights flicker on.
Intimacy—the kind that makes you linger, wait, wonder—needs space. It needs risk, patience, and that sense of possibility that only comes when you’re face-to-face, feeling the heartbeat of the moment.
My wish for this new generation? That they get to taste some of that magic. That they let themselves slow down, put the phone away, meet someone’s eyes across a room, and remember the power of a perilous, delicious “hello.”
Because nothing—and I mean nothing—compares to the thrill of the hunt when love is truly in the air. 💋
Do you remember your first real crush? Drop your stories in the comments. Let’s bring back a little of that magic, one memory at a time.
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2 responses to “Lost Connections”
This was a good read! Times are definitely different and you need to be able to adjust to people who are with the times and those who are struggling. There will be a time when intimacy comes back, but for now we need to find out how to make it count in this digital period we are in.
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I could not agree more! It is so difficult to cultivate intimacy sometimes in our digital, overly fast-paced world. But when it happens… holy smokes! This is especially true in kink. I have had amazing partners in this space, but developing real intimacy and lasting connection has been challenging. But when that real trust and connection starts to form, the dynamic becomes so much more!
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